Wednesday, May 4, 2011 at promptly 11a.m... I find out if my little bundle is a boy or a girl. Though I find out that day, I am debating in my head over whether I want to tell anyone or not. Sigh. There is a lot of anticipation waiting on this moment and everyone is weighing in their guesses and their wants. What everyone fails to remember is that no one has a choice in the matter. My little baby will be just as stubborn as me, and will be whatever/whoever they want and there is nothing anyone can do about it.
I, on the other hand, don't even know if I have a solid opinion on the matter. I would like a boy, but just for everyone else (esp. my husband- he would love a boy to play sports with). I don't want anyone to be heartbroken or even remotely sad if we find out it's not a boy. I would also like a girl for myself. (Ideally I would like a girl and a boy total) I feel as if I have a boy, that will be all I have: 1 boy and 1 girl. I am not ready to make that decision. I am not ready to close the door on whether that will be all the children I have. I feel like if it is a boy, then I might not have a choice, that I would be done. BUT, maybe if it's a girl, I might have a choice later on to maybe go for that boy. This plan also does not guarantee any boys, so maybe its just safer to have the boy now, if that's an option :)
Other than the normal will it be a boy or girl questions, I am also extremely nervous. I have not seen the baby since roughly 6 weeks. After miscarriages, certainty is never taken for granted. I am so scared that they will tell me there is something wrong when I go. I don't know how possible it is for a miscarriage after 17 weeks. My husband keeps saying everything will be fine. I am just looking forward to having this baby, I don't want any bad news. I want so badly to see my baby moving around and know, no matter what sex, my bundle is alive and will be joining my family in October! Soooo... I'll be back Wednesday.
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